We caught up with this dynamic DJ duo between flights in Long Island and chatted about the art of DJing in L.A., songs requests they never ever want to get again and, of course, Melanie Griffith.
STONEROKK
Were you and Graham Funke friends from day one?
We met through mutual disc-jockey friends. [Graham Funke] DJs all over L.A., I DJ-ed all over L.A. We both have similar interests, and we’re both trying to protect the art of DJing, in a sense. Trying to preserve what’s right about it, what’s fresh about it.
Do you feel that the art of DJing is under attack?
Because of technology, becoming a DJ is so accessible. You can buy a laptop and be a DJ tomorrow, but without years of experience you’re not going to do it correctly. [DJs are] getting off by their connections. The kid that makes 300 bucks a week that is a good DJ is being outshined by a guy who’s friends with, you know, Melanie Griffith.
Is there a record out now that you just can’t stand?
Pretty much there isn’t any new music I get really excited about, mainly because I have to hear it all the time, whether I’m playing it or not. Even just sitting in a taxicab in New York, I gotta hear this fucking Britney Spears song. But there’s some stuff I get excited about. Kanye’s new album is pretty fresh. I didn’t like “Stronger” when I first heard it. Of course, it grew on me ’cause I have to play it seven times a week.
What are some common pitfalls of DJing in L.A.?
Well, people’s attention spans are real short, so they get distracted real easy. So maintaining a dance floor takes a lot of experience—which I have, which most of these guys don’t. Also, sometimes you try to give them something new and they’re not really ready for it, but then when it’s on "TRL" in two weeks they’re ready for it. Because they’re very drawn to what is popular, not necessarily what is good or what is right. If it’s popular to chop off your right foot, everyone in L.A. is only going to have a left foot.
That’s gonna make it hard to dance...
Yeah! I mean, case in point: Kanye West’s “Gold Digger.” The first single on the album was “Diamonds from Sierra Leone,” and the second single was “Gold Digger.” I got “Gold Digger” right around the time of “Sierra Leone,” which is way before the album came out, and I was playing “Gold Digger” ’cause I was like, “This is a good record!” I’d play it, I’d play it, I’d play it—no one would dance to it. It cleared dance floors! So I just stopped. Then a month passes and some girl asks me for Kanye West’s “Gold Digger,” and I’m like, “That’s my wife! I love her!”—not knowing the video just came out and it’s all over the radio. So I played it and the place went batshit, and then I realized, “Oh it’s cool now, so I can play it now.”
Any advice to aspiring DJs?
Yeah, don’t be a DJ.
Why?!
I equate it to being an actor: How many successful actors are there, and then how many good actors are there? It’s really a crapshoot. If you really love it, then do it, but learn how to do it correctly and be good at it. Being a working DJ in L.A. invites all the wrong questions, especially when I’m traveling—like, “Oh where are you DJing?” as if someone in Omaha knows the clubs in L.A.. And if they do, it’s usually from watching “The Hills,” and I don’t want to talk to someone who can recount scenes from “The Hills.”
Are you and Graham the Bill and Ted, Sam and Diane, or John and Joan Cusack of L.A. nightlife?
The two of us? I feel like we’re the Newton and Einstein of L.A. nightlife. What up wit dat?!
GRAHAM FUNKE
Any song that people keep requesting that you just can’t stand?
Nine out of 10 popular songs right now I can’t stand, to tell you the truth. The stuff that’s being released right now as hip-hop records isn’t hip-hop records to me. Like, “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” is not a hip-hop record to me. I think it’s a horrendous song. It’s almost like it’s McDonald’s, you know what I mean? They don’t know about gourmet food. I’m giving them best beluga and they’d rather have a Big Mac!
You've also got a degree in screenwriting. Ever considered writing a film about the DJ scene in L.A.?
That’s so funny, ’cause every meeting I have, they say, “Why don’t you just write that?” It’ll sell. There actually was a project over at the company which did "Training Day," where it was like "The Karate Kid," but with DJs: Some guy teaches a girl how to DJ and she bests him in the end. To me, it doesn’t translate. The knowledge isn’t there for the mass population about what I’m doing exactly. They think that you throw your hands up in the air every two seconds, when in reality I’m just sipping whiskey!
What’s your favorite place to eat in L.A. after the clubs close?
A lot of DJs go to Bossa Nova to eat. I like that place a lot. As soon as I started working in Vegas three to four nights a week, the last thing I wanted to do after a nightclub was involve myself in any kind of a nightclub activity. Too much of a bad thing.
Are you looking forward to touring?
The last year I’ve been trying to stay closer to the residencies. On the one hand I’m not looking forward to all the flights, but on the other hand I’m looking forward to the excuse to mess around with StoneRokk in different cities.
You went overseas in 2006 to entertain the troops, right? What was that experience like?
Yeah, that was the Asia tour. They’d never sent a DJ out on a tour before, so I was kind of a guinea pig. I was expecting one thing, and I ended up getting something else. I thought I’d just go out there and give a really eclectic performance. Turns out most of the troops where I was based are 18 and from the South, so they just want to hear crunk music.
For some reason, I was imagining requests for Toby Keith’s “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue.”
That’s what I was expecting, kind of this all-American set and doing all these different genres. But I ended up playing Dirty South the whole time.
With all the nonstop touring, do you think you two would do well as an "Amazing Race" team?
I wonder if we have the endurance to do all that nonsense. I like to sleep and I like to drink a lot of champagne, so the endurance aspect might be whack.
So are you guys the Bill and Ted, Sam and Diane, or John and Joan Cusack of L.A. nightlife?
The Captain and Tennille. [Laughs]
Which one’s the Captain?
That would be me, of course. I wear the gold anchor!
Catch the Captain and Tennille—aka StoneRokk and Graham Funke—at the Highlands on February 9
Amir Kenan is a contributing editor for Metromix Los Angeles.
