HISTORY
Grades are determined based on past history...and the history they make each night.
A Teddy's
This historic lounge inside the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel is not only named after our 26th president, Theodore Roosevelt, but it also helped host the the very first Academy Awards in 1929. In recent years, the lounge's strict velvet has been reported on by the Times (Los Angeles and New York) and the Wall Street Journal. Talk about making history.
B+ Hyde Lounge
It's past history as the low-key bar North is nothing much to speak of; Its current incarnation as Hyde Lounge is. This ultra lounge makes history on a nightly basis. Either Lindsay Lohan is pAArtying here despite being checked into rehab or Brandon Davis is yelling "fire crotch" or Jessica Simpson has lost 20 pounds and wants to show it off to the world. When celebs want to make history (via TMZ and the gossip columns and the tabloids), they come here.
B Winston's
Formerly home to the gay bar Spike, this ultra lounge was made over into a NYC-style neighborhood bar. Though the crowd is very L.A., the vibe is very NYC, as is the decor, which shows comprehension of the 13 original colonies and east coast origins. Frequently admitting Britney Spears earns demerits.
B- Les Deux
What was once a French restaurant and club made famous by Madonna sightings in the '90s, is now an Italian restaurant made famous by Britney Spears sightings. When Les Deux's original owner fled to France a few years ago, people started mispronouncing its name "Les Doo." So, what should mean "The Two," is now sounds like "The sh-t."
C Opera
By the time Zac Efron celebrates his 21st birthday (October 2008) will Opera be history?
HEALTH
For this category, we left the grading up to the Department of Health Services.
A+ Tropicana Bar
Wow! The Trop scored an impressive 100.
A Teddy's (97) and Hyde Lounge (94)
Congratulations to the two most consistently draconian ropes in town for practicing what they preach. Strict, severe, and Soviet in their discipline, we appreciate that they include cleanliness in their “A-list-only” ideology.
A Winston's
The WeHo hotspot earned a 93 for the eyebrow raising "Violation #46, improper use of chemicals." The vaguely worded reprimand could simply mean they had an "unlabeled spray bottle," but it echoes more like publicist-speak describing a starlet patron's sudden "exhaustion."
A- Les Deux
We weren't expecting "Violation #62" from anyone in this roundup: "doors maintained open." Famous for a clamoring herd instead of a line, one thing we know for sure is that Les Deux's doors are never "maintained open," as scored in its May 1, 2007 check up. With a successful appeal on this charge, the club could climb from a 90 in to "A" territory. We’ll second the motion.
Absent Opera and Crimson
As of August 14, 2007 there are no records in the Los Angeles Department of Public Health for Opera, Crimson, or any venue on their street, Schrader Boulevard. We know they are the new kids in school, but how come they get to play hooky? Do your own inspection before downing those patron shots with Paris and Leo.
RECESS
The stakes are high when there are only two options: pass or fail.
PASS Les Deux
Les Deux actually owns their own playground, a sprawling private property parking lot. But forget playing handball. Here, the activities are more like speed weaving through the crowd towards waiting cars and random girls cat fighting in Britney Spears's honor.
FAIL Area
It's a "zoo at 2" on this bottle neck’ed stretch of La Cienega. Area, Republic, The Belmont and Koi all belch out its patrons in to varying strains of hot dog vendor smoke, sidewalks choked with flashbulbs and police cars idling down the middle of the street. One upside? The frenzy to snag a stray taxi will prepare you to scramble in the bleachers for Barry Bonds’ next home run ball.
Signature of Parent or Legal Guardian: _______________________________
Hollywood Hotspots must have this report card signed by their parents and returned to your Metromix Dean A.S.A.P.
