Readers: We care. We care enough to listen to your most befuddling problems. And though we're too lame to come up with answers ourselves, we aren't too proud to have comedians step in to cover for us. This time around, we wrangled one of our favorite comedy crushes, Natasha Leggero, and got her sage advice on modern love.

Q: The guy I'm dating recently downgraded my title from "girlfriend" to "lover." He says it sounds sexier and makes him feel less pressure toward a commitment. I say I sound like a French whore. Should I just go with it? Does a title really matter as long as you're getting laid exclusively by each other…probably?

A: Your boyfriend has every right to call you lover—as long as he buys you an apartment, only visits you from 3 to 5 in the afternoon and takes you on boating holidays to St. Barts. The last man who called me his lover bought me a whole new wardrobe, sent me roses every Thursday and paid for my Internet, whereas the last man who called me his girlfriend lay on the couch all day getting high and watching "The Goonies." Remember: "Girlfriend" contains the word "friend," and "lover" contains the word "love." It also contains the word "over," which is what your relationship will be if he stops buying you presents. Good luck, darling!

If you just developed an instant love for Ms. Leggero (as we did), then head downtown to stare like an asshat as she performs stand-up at Rooftop Comedy this Friday, May 30.  We'll be the starry-eyed droolers in the front row.

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