Q: The guy I'm dating recently downgraded my title from "girlfriend" to "lover." He says it sounds sexier and makes him feel less pressure toward a commitment. I say I sound like a French whore. Should I just go with it? Does a title really matter as long as you're getting laid exclusively by each other…probably?
A: Your boyfriend has every right to call you lover—as long as he buys you an apartment, only visits you from 3 to 5 in the afternoon and takes you on boating holidays to St. Barts. The last man who called me his lover bought me a whole new wardrobe, sent me roses every Thursday and paid for my Internet, whereas the last man who called me his girlfriend lay on the couch all day getting high and watching "The Goonies." Remember: "Girlfriend" contains the word "friend," and "lover" contains the word "love." It also contains the word "over," which is what your relationship will be if he stops buying you presents. Good luck, darling!
Ask a comic: Natasha Leggero
Our comedian crush on love and lovers
By Alie Ward, Metromix
May 28, 2008
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(Credit: Aimee Brodeur)
