Ask a comic: Paul F. Tompkins

(Credit: Rex Bullington)

Q: I've been waiting for a guy to ask me out for months, and he finally has. Complication: he's living on his friend's couch. Do I date him? (Yes, he is in a band.)

A: Personally, I think 9 years old is too young to date. I'm assuming you're 9 years old.  Because even a 10-year-old should recognize a couple of flags as red as these. Yeah, I'll call out 10-year-olds. What do I care? You do realize "has a roommate" and "living on his friend's couch" are not the same thing, right? His living space is confined to a couch. A couch is not a room. This guy is clearly in a transitional phase and shouldn't be dating anyone (the transition he is making is from living on his friend's couch to leeching off some gullible girl who will take him into her home after two weeks of dating and pay for everything he needs until two months after she catches him kissing a not-so-gullible girl in the men's room of a filthy rock club where his band just performed seven songs that would be generously described as "derivative"). But he's soooooo cute, right? Go for it! There's no shame in living a stereotype! Except all the shame that's available!

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