Taylor Negron, fixing the world
(Credit: Nic Sadler & Mark Larkin)
Q: Dear comic, I'm a neat freak. Problem is, I moved into my boyfriend's place and it's full of boys. Some housemates are metal-heads, others are bike messengers and one is even a bearded hippie. No matter how much I clean up after everyone, there are mice and droppings everywhere. But even worse is the pubic hair they leave all over the bathroom—in the toilet, in the shower drain, by the sink. How do I tell them that I'm sick of cleaning up their pubes?
A: Don’t be a neat freak around other people. It’s like trying to control the wind. Metal-head pubes are not okay, but bike messenger pubes are, as that area gets a lot of action. But you may need to hang out with a better grade of people and lose these non-ejectable family members who have abdicated growing up. At the rate you're going, you may just contract the Black Plague. So I personally suggest that you check in to a convent for eight weeks and re-evaluate your goals. Oh, and burn all your possessions. Pubes travel.
It's okay to stalk Taylor Negron, really. Head to the M Bar on Jan. 19 for an eye- and earload of him, but don't leave behind any stray hairs. Seriously.
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