As founding editor of Gawker's sporting website Deadspin.com, Will Leitch spends an inordinate amount of time thinking about grown men in shoulder pads slapping each other on the ass. From Terrell Owens' tears to Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy's threats, Mr. Leitch has remained a steady guide through the vagaries of televised football. We managed to corral him with a query from one trembling reader who's getting a little nervous in front of the camera.


Q: I just recently got married in September, and ever since we got back from our honeymoon, I've had the feeling that my wife and I are being videotaped while we sleep. I've checked behind mirrors and things, but I keep worrying that we might end up on YouTube (or worse) in our unmentionables. What to do?  

A: Sir—I have bad news. Not only are you being videotaped while you sleep, you are, in fact, having your bedroom maneuvers telestrated by John Madden. And I'm sad to say, you're not holding up well under the intense scrutinizing of game film. You're having trouble relaying the right plays, you're set up in the wrong formation and, most worrisome, you're jumping the snap early. Time to hit the film-study room, and fast.

And the reason you couldn't find the camera is because the MetLife blimp is above your home. Obviously.

Come see Will Leitch read from his new book "God Save the Fan: How Preening Sportscasters, Athletes Who Speak in the Third Person, and the Occasional Convicted Quarterback Have Taken the Fun Out of Sports (And How We Can Get It Back)" on Tuesday, Feb. 5 at Book Soup—that is, if you're not too busy watching those pesky politicians duke it out at the polls.

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