Can't buy me love

(Credit: Aimee Brodeur)

Summer romance is easy: All it takes is a barbecue and a keg stand, and before you know it, you’re on a free date. But now that the weather is cooling off and the economy is freezing, we’re in need of free date options more than ever. While we don’t endorse sneaking in back doors or cruising through Costco for samples, we can offer this array of activities that require no cash to enjoy. With any luck, your date won’t notice how stingy you are.

Open bar art
Art shows are like hitting the mother lode when it comes to free date options. You’ll have a whole room of cultural material to ruminate on/make fun of, admission is almost always free, and gallery owners eagerly facilitate sales by getting patrons drunk on complimentary wine. Hit the art openings early, before the merlot runs out and while the crowds are still thick enough to make it look like you picked a popular destination. Even better, check out our guide to all of the city’s regular free art walks, which offer a smorgasbord of visual stimulation and a virtual free bar crawl. Bonus: You’ll be strolling around instead of getting a tacky, pricey DUI.

Monday music: as good as a spot on the list
Never underestimate the power of a free residency. Music venues are intelligent; they know that on Mondays, you want to be home watching “Mad Men” on your TiVo. Their desperation to fill the house allows you to hit free shows at Spaceland, the Echo or the Silverlake Lounge, all of which host buzz-worthy bands nearly every Monday. You‘ll seem casual and daring by going on a date on Monday, and you’ll save a few bucks to spend on cat litter or the electric bill.

Cinematic savings
The last time we went to the ArcLight and were asked to pay $14 for one ticket to see a Julia Roberts movie, we almost broke down crying at the economic injustice. Avoid selling your plasma for movie tickets—and going to a Julia Roberts flick—by hitting a free, artsy screening instead. The Flux series are reliably eye-opening with an array of experimental film premiers, groundbreaking music videos and appearances by cinematic up-and-comers. Later this month, Flux screens “Young Man Falling,” a short film about teen angst by Danish filmmaker Martin de Thurah. It’s all the dark theater experience with none of the cash—or predictable third acts.

Balancing the books
While a hardcover edition of Danielle Steel’s latest can set you back a pretty penny, remember that it costs you nothing to sit in on a bookstore reading. Check out our weekly literary roundup, Book Candy, for a list of the best free readings all over town, from Micheline Aharonian Marcom reading from “The Mirror in the Well” at WeHo’s Book Soup to Canadian actress Mia Kirshner reading at Pasadena’s Vroman’s. Later this month iconic surfer Kelly Slater signs copies of his photo-heavy biography, “For the Love,” at Diesel, A Bookstore in Malibu, and Skylight Books hosts a graphic-novel salon. Feeding your brain while sparing your wallet? Sounds good to us.

Riding out the recession
If your date mandates a limo ride and bottle service behind a velvet rope, you’d better be loaded. But if your future paramour is the more adventurous (read: low-maintenance) type, saddle up on two wheels and head out for a night ride though the streets of L.A. The Midnight Ridazz bike group is understandably legendary for its massive cluster of hundreds of rowdy cyclists whooping it up and navigating the city on the second Friday of every month. The South Bay Cruisers also host a slew of ridiculous and costumed Westside bike events that will make for an evening way more memorable than a sleepy opera. Bonus: You’ll even save money on gas. Thrifty!

Jazz it up at LACMA
The appearance of class can be tough on a budget. Monocles are expensive, as are top hats, and tickets to the opera can cost you a heft sum. Instead, head to LACMA on a Friday night, when a free jazz concert in the courtyard is music to budget-minded ears, and admission to view priceless art at LACMA’s many galleries is on a pay-what-you-wish basis. We also like to call that “free.”

Laughing, at no one’s expense
Los Angeles acts as the nation’s magnet for former homecoming queens and class clowns, so take advantage of the fact that this city has more funny people per capita than anywhere else on the globe. Hitting a free comedy show is like shooting proverbial and hilarious fish in a barrel, with no-admission shows like Tuesday Night Thunder at the Sierra Stage, What’s Up Tiger Lily Mondays at Cuba Libre Latin Cafe Bar, Upright Citizens Brigade's ASSSSCAT on Sundays and the Improv Olympic’s Cage Match on Thursdays. These comedians are literally giving their gifts away for free. The homecoming queens? Well, that’s another article.

Alie Ward is Events editor for Metromix Los Angeles.