Hot & Bothered: bad, bad boy

Dear H&B,
I told my significant other that I wanted dirty talk, but I didn’t know how overreaching that would be for her. Plain and simple, her dirty talk is boring. Quite frankly, her limited repertoire of “What does the big boy want?” is bordering on baby talk. How do I ask her to bring some fresh new material? Where can I send her for some inspiration? Any good references/sources out there?
Looking for an Earful

Dear LFAE,
I’m guessing she isn’t saying “big boy” because you are dressed in red-and-white-checkered overalls, have plastic hair and are holding
aloft a delicious hamburger. The best source for your friend is what’s going on in your own head. How can it be overreaching for her if she doesn’t know what she’s reaching for? Do you want to be told you’re the Ultimate Boff Machine or something that crawled from the pit toilets at Coachella? (On Sunday.) Do you want it whispered in your ear or growled in your face? Do you want it in French, or with a Bronx accent? Let the talking begin before you hit the sack. Suggest what you’d like to hear. And, like a good band at a wedding, if you’re polite and not too drunk, chances are she’ll take requests.

Dying to get some? (Sex advice, that is.)
E-mail hotandbothered@metromix.com. Hot & Bothered will run every week in Metromix.

Next question: Are you hot and bothered?