Dear H&B,
I have a great relationship with my girlfriend of a few months, sexually and otherwise. Having said that, I’m not sure where this problem lands. We were messing around in our costumes on Halloween, and when she had some clown makeup on, we got it on. (I don’t mean a whole clown outfit, just the face with a wig and red nose.) I thought it was funny, but also really arousing. I want more, but she doesn’t think it’s such a turn-on. Actually, she thinks I’m weird for suggesting it. Am I nuts, is this a problem, or is she being too uptight?
Tears of a Clown
Dear TOAC,
When clowns drop their pants, it’s traditionally for laughs, not as a preamble to schtupping. And while having sex with a woman whose face looks like Bozo isn’t my cup of party punch (no matter how enticing the rest of the anatomy is), the Internet reveals clown porn aplenty. So you’re not alone. How much of that you want to take seriously is up to you; we’re talking about clowns, after all.
On the not-funny side, there’s the attendant John Wayne Gacy image of clowns taking advantage of their good-time visages to commit horrible acts, so your GF may be associating your three-ring fetish with psychotic perversion. Who can blame her? Clowns are inherently creepy. It’s probably time to rethink your desires. The red nose and makeup are a mere gateway. Where does it lead—huge floppy shoes? Squirting flowers? Honking butt pants? Either that, or start trolling for a willing partner next time the circus is in town.
Dying to get some? (Sex advice, that is.)
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