Hot & Bothered: cursed oral

Dear H&B,
Me and my girlfriend were vacationing in the Yucatan, and went to some Mayan ruins. We were kind of buzzed, and we climbed this pyramid they used to use for human sacrifices, and she gave me serious oral pleasure at the top in this little enclosure that was where the king used to sit or whatever. Now all kinds of weird shit is happening to me. I know this sounds nuts, but did we offend some ancient gods or something?
Indian Giver

Dear IG,
South of the border years ago, riding a gut full of cerveza while batting the mosquitoes off my pale, deliciously blood-filled ass, I did the same thing once, and life’s been nothing but hard-ons and cartwheels ever since. I don’t know what you mean by “weird shit,” but guess what? That’s called life, sweetheart. You had sex on an old pile of rocks cobbled together by long-dead Indians. That’s it. Don’t blame your problems on some romantic, Indiana Jones-based boo-hoo fantasy of ancient, vengeful spirits. And if they did exist, if anything they’d be complimented by the fact that you sacrificed millions of sperm on their sacred death heap.

Dying to get some? (Sex advice, that is.)
E-mail hotandbothered@metromix.com. Hot & Bothered will run every week in Metromix.

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