Dear H&B,
I've been having sex with this girl for several months, and while the gettin' is good, we haven't really connected on any other level. Still, she wants to get dinner before getting laid and spends the night and wants to chat about stupid shit. I just want to get my rocks off. How do I turn this into a straight-up booty-call relationship?
Sex a la Carte
Dear SALC,
Sounds to me like you’re dealing with the worst possible horror for someone who wants only to get laid: You’re dating a person who actually likes you. For some reason, she’s attracted to you beyond whatever physical charms you may possess, and while you’ve yet to connect, she’s still trying. If you’ve been involved in heated schtupping “for months” now, you’ve apparently also laid, as it were, a precedent—dinner and conversation before the poon tang is served. Morphing this into a straight-up booty call is a long shot at this point. Still, next time you get together, you can always politely tell her you have no interest in verbal communication or breaking bread, but would prefer to continue the relationship on a sex-only basis. And be aware that women can slap hard.
Dying to get some? (Sex advice, that is.)l
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