Dear H&B,
I've been seeing my BF for about three months, and it's a great situation all around. Except for one thing: He keeps hinting, more like demanding, that we have sex outdoors. He seems to like the idea of doing the nasty in parks or when we're hiking, and while he says it's not so other people will see us and says he likes the outdoor excitement of it, I'm not into it. I'm not an exhibitionist, and to me it seems totally uncomfortable. Is this a typical guy thing? It's a new one to me.
Not In My Nature
Dear NIMN,
Bear in mind you’re talking to a man whose idea of mood lighting is the dank forgiveness of a 20-watt bulb with a worn terry-cloth motel bathmat draped over a lampshade. Having set that romantic scene, let’s venture into the sunshiny world of outdoor humping. Sure, a wanton shag someplace other than behind closed doors can be an exhibitionistic thrill, but not everybody wants to be observed or to have their coitus interrupted. “Look, mommy! Why is that lady yelling?” may not be a huge turn on. Plus, all body imperfections will be on full display, thanks to harsh natural lighting.
As for your “most guys” question, I don’t think you can generalize. I have no idea whether your BF’s wild boffdom desires are based in truly wanting to be seen (or caught) or in the idea of base spontaneity. Tell him you’re not game for sex outside the sheets, amid scampering creatures and porta-potties. Or you can see what he’s really made of and suggest getting it on in a graveyard at 3 a.m. That’ll be a good time, and you’re guaranteed there’ll be no one around.
Dying to get some? (Sex advice, that is.)
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