Dear H&B,
My boyfriend says he likes it when I masturbate for him. I tried to do it for him, but I couldn't make myself orgasm. I guess I just need him inside me to get off. Plus I felt super self-conscious. He keeps bugging me to do it again. The part that really bugged me is he masturbated while watching me masturbate, and we never ended up having sex together. Is he addicted to porn or something? I just want straight normal sex.
Self Helper
Dear SH,
He masturbates while you masturbate, and the punch line is, no one has sex. Almost sounds like some kind of Abbott and Costello routine, if the late comedy duo did such things for laughs. And thank Jesus they didn’t; some things you can’t unsee.
Look, SH, his desire to witness your intimate good-time fun making doesn’t mean he’s a porn hound, only that his honest feelings of love and respect for you have led him to want to see you shame yourself. But he’s into mutual shaming, so no big deal. But seriously, if you feel uncomfortable self-pleasuring for someone else, don’t do it. Swallow your embarrassment and spill the beans to your pud-yanking man that it does nothing for you to watch or be watched. And—assuming you two aren’t completely diverging sexually—get back to your “straight normal sex.” Whatever that is.
Dying to get some? (Sex advice, that is.)
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