Dear H&B,
I've been nailing this girl for a few weeks now, and she tends to get extremely wet. I really like it, but I'm going through sheets and pillowcases like Abbott and Costello went through routines, and I'm wondering what I can do to cut back on the laundry. I don't want to put a tarp down, as that seems a tad unromantic, so I'm looking for a better solution. Whaddya got?
Put Away Wet
Dear PAW,
For starters, thank whatever god is in charge of such things that he/she/it has blessed you with a gal whose delight at the thought of your nailage is so bloody obvious. Well, perhaps bloody is the wrong word, but you know what I mean. Pity the man who extends himself to the best of his seduction abilities only to find his lady’s parts dry as a roadkill armadillo.
And what kind of real man is worried about a few sheets and pillowcases sacrificed to a vag that runneth over, anyway? According to jarkatapost.com, many Indonesians agree that the man’s hang-down will not feel the full grip if there’s too much downstairs fluid. In fact, in an effort to stay dry, women guzzle herbal concoctions like Sari Rapat (“essence of tightness”), Rapat Wangi (“tight and fragrant”) and Empot-Empot Ayam (“tight as a chicken’s anus”). Since you don’t live in Indonesia, I’d suggest you get used to the flowing compliments, invest in some rubber sheets or just keep stockpiling quarters. Or find a less damp lady.
Dying to get some? (Sex advice, that is.)
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