Dear H&B,
I am not a prude, but my girlfriend has an anal fetish. She's always trying to shove things up my butt—fingers, beads, plugs—and I'm just not into it. She keeps telling me that guys dig it because it hits the prostate, but it seems to hit a lot more than that, and I don't like it. How do I keep her away from my butt?
In A Rears
Dear IAR,
A less mature advice columnist would suggest you begin a steady diet of beans, but as things going into your butt are no laughing matter, let’s wrench the backdoor open and see what we find. For many men (straight, anyway), the anal cavity is generally one that should not be filled. In addition to all the mental gymnastics that go along with allowing a lady to explore that dark territory, it can just plain hurt. If you don’t like it, tell her your keester is not on the party list. Having said that, the prostate is considered by many to be the male G-spot, the secret source of fierce orgasmic pleasure. Next time you get a checkup, turn around and ask your doctor about it.
Dying to get some? (Sex advice, that is.)
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