Dear H&B,
What’s the best music to have sex to? Is there any kind that’s a proven aphrodisiac, like some kind of jam that’ll make girls want to have sex with me?
Music to Her Loins
Dear MTHL,
It’s tough to say exactly what types of sounds will make a lady’s panties drop to the floor faster than a well-greased guillotine, but the key element to combining tunes with poon is picking something that won’t be distracting—to the lucky female in your sheets-based cross hairs or to you. In other words, you don’t want to put on something she likes too much; avoid anything that’ll take control of her brain and have her spinning around in your living room like she’s at a one-woman Lilith Fair. Does she enjoy the bump ’n’ grind action of R. Kelly, or does the visceral pounding of Cannibal Corpse put her in the mood for an evening of visceral pounding? You can always sneak a peek at her iPod next time she’s in the bathroom. As for an absolute foolproof track, of course there isn’t one. If there was, whoever recorded it would make Barry White sound about as romantic as the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
Dying to get some? (Sex advice, that is.)
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