Hot & Bothered: the kind that like it from behind

Dear H&B,
Outside of porn and/or France, is there really such a thing as a woman who actually enjoys anal sex?  I am beginning to believe that women who get into “alien abduction training” are as rare as aliens themselves.
Circling Around Uranus

Dear CAU,
Hate to burst your brown bubble, Uranus, but you’d be surprised at how many women in both France and porn don’t actually enjoy anal sex. In porn, they get paid to do it (and talent is often coerced in no uncertain terms to indulge). As for France, well, just because you saw Marlon Brando stretching his acting chops in the delightful butter scene in Last Tango in Paris—though to be fair, it was his co-star Maria Schneider who did the stretching—don’t think amour French-style translates to a guaranteed oui oui when it comes to andouille dans la keester.

 To answer your question, yes, there are women who enjoy anal sex; as the saying goes, the biggest erogenous zone is between your ears. It can be an exciting, dirty, debasing, forbidden, submissive act, plus anal sex can sometimes be orgasmic, as the good ol’ sensitive vagina is dumper-adjacent.

 But it’s a lot easier to list the reasons why so many women may as well have police tape covering their back door. It can be painful (and not the good kind, but actual tearing can occur), it can be a handmaiden to infection.

 Why men want to engage in anal spelunking is perhaps a bigger question. There’s the feeling of domination, of being the first in unschtupped territory. As far as “alien abduction training,” maybe you should start scouring UFO conventions for a backward thinking woman willing to accommodate your small grey.

Dying to get some? (Sex advice, that is.)
E-mail hotandbothered@metromix.com. Hot & Bothered will run every week in Metromix.

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