'Ferris Bueller' cast: Where are they now?

Charlie Sheen

If you don’t know what’s going on with Charlie Sheen these days, you can’t be too observant—and we sure are jealous. Sheen’s life has been tabloid fodder for decades, but not even his most sordid of pasts could prepare anyone for his bizarre divorce from Denise Richards (violent voicemails, sperm theft, the works) and his open status as a September 11th conspiracy theorist. He’s also got a show you may have heard of called “Two and a Half Men.”