- Photos:
-
- Running time:
- 91 minutes
- Rated:
- PG-13
- Cast:
- Paris Hilton -
- Cristabel
- Joel David Moore -
- Nate
- Christine Lakin -
- June
- Johann Urb -
- Director:
- Tom Putnam
- Official Movie Web Site:
- http://www.thehottieandthenottie.com/
- Overall User Rating:
-
(2 ratings)
In an L.A. where there appear to be no other good-looking women, knockout blonde Cristabel (Paris Hilton) refuses to date until a man shows interest in her best friend June (Christine Lakin), who's equipped with moles, facial hair, leg hair, back acne, and, yes, a job at the zoo. (The movie's theory, which should inspire anger in women worldwide, is that every girl's best friend is her exact physical opposite.) Finding June a guy becomes the challenge for stupid, sneaky and insecure Nate (Joel David Moore), who's tracked down Cristabel after falling for her 20 years ago while they were first graders in Maine.
Big question: Is there anything redeeming about this vile-sounding flick, which has received less publicity than Hilton's right elbow?
Skip it: Crueler than "Good Luck Chuck" and dumber than nearly every movie—ever!—"The Hottie and the Nottie" has such disregard for normal human behavior that it's like a sociological study of a moronic alien race. Though that doesn't excuse treating June like a troll or acting like the film's message is "Be yourself" and "Inner beauty is what counts" when "Hottie" exists solely for viewers to stare at Hilton while a secretly hot ugly duckling learns the benefits of a makeover.
Catch it: For a performance of stunning awfulness by Hilton, who delivers every line as if she's still practicing the English language. Not only does she appear unsure if Cristabel actually thinks "A life without orgasms is like a world without flowers" but she says it as if her mouth and her brain live in different states. Anyone care to disagree?
Bottom line: Without a hint of irony, the movie seems to believe there is a Men's Abs Magazine (for which June's potential Prince Charming, a guy named Johann played by a guy named Johann, has posed) and that women truly long for the type of romantic sincerity offered in, uh, "She's All That." If the world really balances "perfection" with "hideous unfortunate failure," perhaps films like "No Country for Old Men" are to blame for requiring the universe to spit out something like "Hottie."
Bonus: Cristabel discovers that there is no truth to the theory that white wine can be used to remove red wine stains. Perhaps the movie does have valuable lessons to teach!
What do you think of "The Hottie and the Nottie"? Email me: mpais@tribune.com
