Dude, not a good pumpkin-carrying technique
(Credit: Matt Gentry)
The rules are simple: Slap down a five-dollar bill and wade through the sea of California-grown pumpkins. Pick up as many bulbous, vibrant fruits as your guns will allow—no bags, no oversized sweatshirts, no extra hands can help you—then stumble down the 25-foot walkway of shame. Whatever crosses the line with you is yours. If it’s lost, dropped or has otherwise perished along the way, leave it. You can’t go back.
That alone is enough for endless mirth. But this year, the pumpkin snatch, which occurs annually on the last Wednesday of the month, will take place exactly on Halloween, which should call forth a coterie of bedecked and becostumed hopefuls who have trained their glow-in-the-dark eyes and prosthetic hands on the all-time, single-carry record of six pumpkins. The prize? No less than seven pumpkins.
While showing up in a Britney-Spears-at-the-VMAs costume would cause cell phone-camera/texting activity the likes of which have been unseen since...well, Britney Spears at the VMAs, be mindful that small children, PTA presidents and nannies are certain to be present. More importantly, sequined bikini bottoms are hardly advantageous for squeezing a gigantic orange fruit between your Thighmaster-conditioned adductors—which is a necessary step in getting the seventh pumpkin across the finish line. (Ask this dude.)
Strapped for an appropriate disguise? Because it is the culinarily-envied, world-famous Santa Monica Farmers’ Market, we hope to see at least one Mario Batali in the crowd—extra props for wearing a single orange clog...you know, since he left one hanging outside Osteria Mozza for the restaurant's opening. Or, just go ahead and wear those sparkly spanky pants.
Where: Santa Monica Farmers' Market, at the intersection of Second St. and Arizona Ave.
When: Halloween, 8:30 a.m. until pumpkins are gone—which typically has been by noon.
Why: Because your thighs haven't seen this much action since last pumpkin patch.
Why this year: The next All-You-Can-Carry on exactly Halloween day cometh in the year 2012.
Jiyeon Yoo is Restaurants editor for Metromix Los Angeles, and thinks she can carry more pumpkins than you.
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