I derive a kind of retro pleasure in slaving over a hot stove for two-and-a-half days. And after the brining and dressing and roasting to a tee, I pretty much live and breathe enough bird to fill my appetite for days. It’s all the satisfaction of consuming Thanksgiving dinner without the added calories—a sick but effective anorectic, otherwise chefs the world over would be as overstuffed as foie gras geese.
But this year, I’ve officially conceded. I have no foresight, no wherewithal to strategize. For the first time since...well...ever, I’m phoning Thanksgiving in. In a matter of days, I will be submitting an order form to have Thanksgiving (semi-)catered. I’ve come to terms with it. It doesn’t make me any less of a domestic goddess. Rachael Ray is probably going to roast her own bird—all coated in EVOO, of course—but I know I’m still better than her.
While pre-made Thanksgiving dinners are available at supermarkets from mega (Ralphs) to trendy (Whole Foods), I’ve narrowed my choices down to those with some culinary cred. If dinner isn’t going to be homemade, it certainly eases the heartache if it comes from the magical hands of Josie Le Balch or Annie Miler. I’ve compiled the gourmet-licious details below, in case you need it. And if you do decide to just suck it up, phone in your orders in a timely fashion, or you may be stuck doling out 21 pieces from the Colonel’s bucket.
Clementine
Bird or no bird?: No turkey, just the fixin's, including stuffing, "the best turkey gravy" and cranberry sauce.
Savories: Butternut squash soup, $10.50/quart; hummus, $4.50/half-pint; honey-glazed carrots with sweet onions, $28 for large pan; mashed potatoes, $9.95/quart.
Sweets: Cranberry apple crisp, $24 for large; cranberry swirl coffee cake, $14.50 for an eight-inch round; assortment of pies from pumpkin ($24), pecan ($28) and bake-at-home apple ($25) to key lime ($24) and chocolate cream ($26).
Taking orders: Submit by fax no later than Saturday, November 17th. But orders may be cut off earlier if capacity is reached.
Pick it up: Tuesday, November 20 or Wednesday, November 21.
Joan's on Third
Bird or no bird?: A whole 10-pound turkey, oven-roasted for $52.
Savories: Zucchini or corn fritters, $1.25 each with two-dozen minimum; baked brie in bread, $45; maple brown sugar yams, $26; wild mushroom bread pudding, $18; baby brussels sprouts, $14.
Sweets: Rustic apple pie, $32; pumpkin pie, $21; pecan pie, $28; sugared molasses cookies, $12/dozen; pecan shortbread balls, $10/dozen; full assortment of cupcakes, $2.75-$3 each with one-dozen minimum.
Taking orders: Call catering department by Friday, November 16, no later than 4 p.m.
Pick it up: Wednesday, November 21, between 11 a.m.-6 p.m. at the back entrance.
Josie Restaurant
Bird or no bird?: "Everything but the bird!"
Savories: Mushroom and Gruyère quiche, $30; butternut squash soup, $24/quart; cornbread stuffing with sage, baby artichokes and mushrooms, $22/small, $44/large; Josie's Dad's sausage stuffing, $24/small, $48/large; sweet potato purée, $22/small, $44/large; yams with maple syrup, raisins and butter-toasted walnuts, $24/small, $48/large.
Sweets: Pumpkin or pecan pie, $30; chocolate bread pudding, $48; (pastry chef) Jonna Jensen's sticky pecan pumpkin cake, $54.
Taking orders: Fax form before 1 p.m. Tuesday, November 20.
Pick it up: Wednesday, November 21, between 10 a.m.-6 p.m.
Auntie Em's
Bird or no bird?: Herb-roasted turkey breast. Order comes with turkey gravy, stuffing with Granny Smith apples and sage, sweet potato casserole, organic mashed potatoes and orange cranberry relish. Priced per person: $26. Vegetarian nut loaf with mushroom gravy can also be substituted.
Savories: Additional à la carte items include chipotle pumpkin soup, $7.95/quart; creamed spinach, $9.95; roasted brussels sprouts, $10.95; Blue Lake green beans with hazelnuts, $10.95; roasted root vegetables, $10.05; artisanal cheese platter with Valencia almonds and assorted olives, $48.
Sweets: Pumpkin pie, $16.95; apple or pecan pie, $18.95; pecan chocolate chunk pie, $18.95; ready-to-bake currant scones for the next morning, $1.75 each with one-dozen minimum; assortment of cupcakes: red velvet, carrot cake, coconut, $3.50 each.
Taking orders: By e-mail to esawaya@gmail.com. Orders will be cut off when capacity is reached.
Pick it up: Wednesday, November 21, between 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Doors will close at 4 p.m. sharp.
Locanda del Lago
Bird or no bird?: Yes! And it's deboned. Comes with all the fixins for $24.95 per person.
Savories: Trimmings come with the bird. See above.
Sweets: A whole, eight-to-10 serving pumpkin pie for $35 or individual pumpkin pies for $5 each. A pint of cinnamon, vanilla or chocolate gelato for $8.
Taking orders: Minimum order of five people. Requires 48-hour notice.
Pick it up: Set up a time upon ordering. As the restaurant is open on Thanksgiving day, November 22nd is also an option.
Spork Foods
Bird or no bird?: Nope. This vegetarian meal features an herbed vegan "turkey" and is priced at $25 per person.
Savories: The traditional trimmings with a Cali-healthful twist: sourdough stuffing with onions, apples and pecans; truffle-scented thyme and mushroom gravy; whipped potatoes with sage.
Sweets: Maple and cinnamon apple turnover, included with per person order.
Taking orders: Call Jenny or Heather Goldberg at 310-383-3986 by Thursday, November 15. Order should indicate number of meals; i.e., get a head count.
Pick it up: Tuesday, November 20 or Wednesday, November 21 at Spork Foods headquarters in Silver Lake—information provided with confirmed order. Deliveries can also be scheduled for orders of six or more, subject to $15 delivery fee.
Violet
Bird or no bird?: Oh no. This is all about Violet's famous mac n' cheese. Just in time for the holidays, chef Jared Simons is introducing a take-and-bake option, available in two family sizes: The half-pan size for $50 feeds upwards of 10 people while the full pan for $100 feeds 16-18.
Taking orders: Call the restaurant 24 hours in advance. As the mac n' cheese comes in a disposable aluminum pan, you may also drop off a personal casserole dish beforehand iif you want the presentation—and the deception—of displaying Violet's goods in your prized Emile Henry.
Pick it up: On Wednesday, November 21 at the latest. Violet is closed for Thanksgiving day.
Jiyeon Yoo is Restaurants editor for Metromix Los Angeles.
