It’s been a while since we’ve gotten laid (four months and counting), and Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week hasn’t been the best place to go to forget that. Wednesday night, for example, Stage One at Smashbox Studios seemed hotter than usual (the venue isn’t air conditioned) when the Green Initiative show featured shirtless male models hawking the cause du jour. Even with sex on their side—one half-naked hunk strutted his spray-tanned stuff down the runway in nothing but a pair of overalls—we wouldn’t remember a single article of clothing if we hadn’t taken notes. They were that forgettable.

The show, comprising about a dozen looks from six designers—M…THEMOVEMENT, Lady Muse, Lilikoi, Andira Rain-Tees, Vintage China and René Geneva Design—was energetic and a lot of fun, but left us scratching our heads wondering what exactly was so green about the whole thing. It also left us with the urge to move into a gym.

Best show of the night: Jenny Han. If Maggie Barry’s collection doesn’t bring the ‘70s back, Jenny Han's sure as Cher will. With jewel-encrusted necklines, paisley prints, high-waisted pencil skirts and pants, knit caps, and sweaters (all in faded colors), it really spanned the spectrum. Han constructed everything from funky clubwear to classic evening to office professional. The barrage of disco music, and one plucky model who bounced down the runway appearing to have more fun than all of the others combined, were just icing on the cake.

Elmer Ave. put on the final show of the evening in the main tent; it left us quivering. Not because there was anything spectacular shown, but because there was a live band that played so loud my chair literally vibrated throughout the entire show (certainly not helping to quell my primal urges). The clothes were impeccably cut—it’s nearly impossible to find any made that thin outside of Britain—but most pieces also featured a logo or design that screamed, “I may be married with three kids, but I still know how to rock out!” The shoes, signature cuff links and velvet blazers were stunning, but everything else—including the styling—was a little too Hot Topic for us.

Spotted: “Moesha” star and Kevin Federline baby mamma Shar Jackson with pocket-gay assistant, who was wearing a rainbow trucker hat. “America’s Next Top Model” Season 7 runner-up Eugena, walking in Jenny Han’s show (and nearly every other during the week). “Napoleon Dynamite”  scene-stealer Efren Ramirez—aka Pedro—seated front row at the Elmer Ave. show.

Marcos Luevanos is Style editor for Metromix Los Angeles.