9:30 a.m. Beverly Hilton
CNN session. Thankful for the availability of peppermint tea and honey on the refreshment buffet.
10:15 a.m. CNN
I find Soledad O'Brien more than a little annoying and would like to move on to talking about Clone Wars on Cartoon Network.
10:39 a.m. Cartoon Network
Turner has promised us something new and different that no one outside the network has every seen before. The new and different thing: They're debuting a full episode of “Clone Wars,” the new animated Star Wars series. It's unusual to screen an entire episode during a session; this one was apparently just completed. General Grievous appears first and tells us not to blog about the episode or spill too much info. Let's just say the tone and feel is similar to the Genndy Tartakovsky “Clone Wars” series that ran in 5 minute episodes between “Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith.” The CG animation is quite good. Jar Jar doesn't show up in the episode. The show may be a little too kid-friendly for 1st gen Star Wars fans such as yours truly.
11:40 a.m. TNT and TBS
The fact that I used these sessions as an opportunity to run home to get my power cable should give you some idea of how unenthusiastic I am about these shows. Still, through some sense of obligation, I feel I should at least provide some info on the new shows being presented, both of which I've seen.
“Raising the Bar” is yet another legal drama about the young guns working in opposition in the NY Public Defender's and D.A.'s offices. The stars include Jane Kaczmarek of “Malcolm of the Middle” as an unreasonably tough as nails judge , J. August Richards of “Angel” and “Saved by the Bell” veteran Mark-Paul Gosselaar, sporting ridiculously long and wavy locks. The show doesn't live up to the best of those executive-produced by veteran Steven Bochco (“Hill Street Blues,” “L.A. Law”) but sits slightly above the worst (“Cop Rock,” the never-aired “NYPD 2069”). The pilot ends with a series of “who's sleeping with whom (or wants to)” scenes that kills whatever curiosity a viewer might have about the characters. This cast actually deserves better.
“Leverage” is the next in a series of one-word-titled heist-themed shows from the past several seasons, some of which have been quite good (“Heist,” “Smith,” “Thief”) but none of which have had much success. The ensemble is led by Timothy Hutton and includes Christian Kane (another “Angel” alum, with an even more absurd hairstyle than the one Gosselaar has in “Raising the Bar”), Aldis Hodge (“Friday Night Lights”) and Gina Bellman (from the original BBC version of “Coupling”). The show has its charms and the cast gels better than that of “Raising,” but the tone is inconsistent. This is something that's often worked out as a series develops, so this might be worth a few more chances.
1:29 p.m. Fox Reality
Had enough reality? How about a whole network's worth? The appeal of this session is that it features none other than young Obi Wan himself, Ewan McGregor, here to promote his motorcycle touring series, “Long Way Down,” and, well, I would like to ride a BMW 1200GS from the U.K. to the bottom of Africa. (My loved ones are worried enough about me riding the streets of L.A. on a Vespa.)
2:06 p.m.
The session is finally underway. The network exec doing the intro is a Brit who somehow makes “Fox” sound like a dirty word. He seems to know that much of what falls into the “reality” category is mindless trash, but implies that should be celebrated.
2:11 p.m.
McGregor and his director take to the stage, both wearing beautiful Belstaff riding jackets. McG is blonde, charming and cute. He gets the lore and romance of riding. I think we could be buds (yeah, right). Maybe I'll invite him to do the cross-country scooter Cannonball Run with me. This show is a lot more hardcore and rugged than Alton Brown's “Feating on Asphalt,” that's for sure.
2:43 p.m.
I ask Ewan about the preparation and self-defense training he did for the trip but don't get to ask him what kind of injuries he sustained the many times he went down on the bike. The highlight video shows him training with handguns but he gives me a very responsible answer about knowing how to get out of trouble without resorting to violence. Yes, yes. Now will you just be my new BFF so we can go ride motorcycles and celebrate our heterosexuality?
3:04 p.m. Starz
The cable net's first original series is an adaptation of the film “Crash,” now starring Dennis Hopper and produced by one of my favorite actors, Don Cheadle (both of whom are in attendance). Starting with the themes of race and the American Dream in L.A., the series will present several new characters of varying racial and socioeconomic backgrounds.
Second-best quote of the day: Hopper says his character, a record label owner, is as crazy as any he's ever played. “Totally out of control… Well, Phil Spector and I shared an office for about 10 years…”
Cheadle says he plans on being more involved in the series. When asked if he saw it as a series when making the movie, he jokes, “Well, I was drunk for the making of the movie.” He doesn't know if his character, Graham, will get to resolve his unresolved storyline from the film. By the way, Cheadle is wearing a black t-shirt that's totally bedazzled with shiny metal studs in the shape of an “S.”
Apparently, there's a scene in which Hopper exposes himself and talks to his penis.
How is it no one has asked an Obama question yet? It could actually be relevant in this session!
3:47 p.m.
Hopper is asked to expound on the conversation with his penis scene. He does.
4:10 p.m. Lifetime
Eh, I'm just here for the WiFi and because Shirley MacLaine will be here in a while to pimp here biopic, “Coco Chanel.” Happy to find a sample of Chanel Allure Homme Sport (along with requisite USB drive, Lifetime pen, memo pad and so on) on my chair when I arrive. And thanks, Lifetime, for setting up a full bar in the back of the room for us guys and for using ELO's “Mr. Blue Sky” during your highlight reel for us cheesy '70s rock fans.
I suppose since Lifetime has absconded with “Project Runway,” I'll have to watch the “#1 Network for Women” for at least one hour a week this fall.
4:18 p.m.
OMG, how good is this chocolate chip cookie? And I'm so going to have to watch “Cook Yourself Thin.”
4:29 p.m. “How to Look Good Naked”
Carson Kressley is kind of clever and funny, I guess, in a way. I like his tie. He looks a lot nicer onstage than when I've seen him around town, walking around with his nose in the air. Two of the show's subjects are present and they look pretty good fully clothed. Apparently since the show they've become a little too comfortable with their bodies and their sex lives are greatly improved. TMI, thank you very much.
4:52 p.m. Lifetime
Network exec: “While our dramas may occasionally cause viewers to reach for a tissue…” Yeah, or more likely a remote.
“Rita Rocks” stars MadTV alum Nicole Sullivan as a typical wiseacre housewife who starts a garage band. I may watch this, at least once, simply because Ian Gomez (“Felicity,” “Jake in Progress”) is in it as a standup bass player.
When critics start asking stuff like, “Well, do you sing to your kids?” you know that interest in the show is low.
5:18 p.m.
I'm probably going to Hell for laughing during video highlights of a scene for a breast cancer movie starring Harry Connick, Jr.
5:27 p.m. “Coco Chanel”
There are many long, awkward pauses between questions for Shirley MacLaine. There aren't a lot of them. It's a little embarrassing. Maybe we're all just tired. Maybe they should have brought costars Malcolm McDowell or Barbora Bobulova, who plays the young Coco Chanel. Oh, the French guy has a question!
Famous believer in reincarnation MacLaine: "To me, nobody's living, nobody's dead; it's all the same." She's later asked what she sees as her greatest accomplishment in life—“this life.”
Quote of the day: MacLaine on Coco Chanel: “Just because you play the whole field, doesn't mean you're a lesbian!”
Oddly, the French actress playing the younger Coco Chanel progressively loses her French accent until it's similar to MacLaine's so-called “Mid-Atlantic” accent. Tres French director Christian Dugray: “You don't hire Shirley MacLaine to do a French accent. You don't hire Sean Connery and ask him to do a French accent.” No, I guess not. I mean, Connery's Russian accent totally sucked in “Hunt for Red October.”
6:10 p.m. Lifetime cocktail party, Beverly Hilton
Why am I here? I am ill. Is that scary creature over there really Jennifer Coolidge or am I having fevered hallucinations? I should go home. Um… is that a seafood buffet?
7:40 p.m. Turner all-star party, Beverly Hilton
I am only here to see who shows up from Cartoon Network and to check out the cast members from TBS' “My Boys.” Tim and Eric are here in matching jams and shirt outfits. They're hanging out with cartoonist Tony Millionaire. I am pleased and after several shrimp and some mini BBQ sandwiches head home to convalesce for the weekend.
Next: I'm sparing readers by skipping the weekend PBS sessions, returning in a couple of days—hopefully in full health—for the first of the big nets, FOX (featuring “Fringe,” one of the most-anticipated shows of the season) and its sibling FX.
